5 Steps To A More Confident YOU!

Self-esteem and self-confidence. They are the foundation upon which most of our choices are made. If I had to boil down a decade’s worth of work, study, and personal coaching into 5 quick tips on building self confidence, these would be it, in no particular order:

1. Start Small

Self-esteem is not flattery from others. Building self-confidence requires you to actually get out there and DO something. Start small. Even the smallest accomplishments add up to great achievements.

Try this exercise:

Close your eyes and visualize the person you want to be.
Then, make a list of at least 5 – 10 habits, or daily routines, that person would do.
Next, choose 1 to 2 items from your list that you feel you can start doing right now… and DO them.
Once you’ve got those down, pick a couple more, rinse and repeat.

Change doesn’t happen over night. There is no magic pill to creating a new you; but there is a magic process.

2. Be Intentional

Know who you are and the person you want to be. If you’re a go-with-the-flow type of individual, it’s a sign your self-confidence tank is near empty.

Try this exercise:

Take some personal time — physically get away from the house, the spouse, the kids, the friends — and self-evaluate.
Know why you make the choices you make. If your answer is “because everyone else does it” or “so-and-so wants me to” instead of “because I want to,” then you’re letting others control your life instead of you.

Here’s a great blog post on living intentionally. lifeyourway.net/what-does-it-mean-to-live-intentionally/

3. Look the part

Actors understand how powerful the putting on of the costume is. Just a simple change in wardrobe helps them connect with the character they’re portraying, giving us a more believable performance.

Try this exercise: How does a more confident you dress at home, work, or with friends? Take the time to dress the part you want to play. Try it, and you’ll be amazed at the effect it has on you both mentally and emotionally.

4. Don’t take “No” personally

Rejection happens. In relationships, at work, at home… everywhere! It’s part of life. But resiliency means the ability to bounce back from every “no” that’s thrown at you. Most “no’s” are not a rejection of you as a person. Maybe he turned you down for another date because your hair reminded him too much of his ex; maybe your proposal at work was rejected because you improperly used a semi-colon and your boss is a grammar Nazi; maybe your kid didn’t like dinner because tomatoes make them gag. Whatever the reason, a rejection is more about them than it is you.

5. Feed Your Mind

Your brain is the most powerful personal computer you own. It’s output, though, depends 100% on it’s input — and you’re its only programmer.

Try this exercise:

Think about the following questions —

What media are you reading, watching, or listening to?
Does it reflect the confident person you want to be?
If someone were to look at your playlist right now, what would it tell me about you?
What type of people are you surrounding yourself with?
Who in your day-to-day life, personally, socially and professionally, perpetuates your feelings of self-doubt, and which ones are encouraging, uplifting, and supportive?

Remember, you are the master programmer of your life, and only you can push the delete button on those influences that are negatively influencing a positive output for a more confident you.